


Wisdom Teeth

by friendlyneighborhoodirondad



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Fondly Exasperated Happy Hogan, Gen, Nervous Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, worried Aunt May
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-25 17:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlyneighborhoodirondad/pseuds/friendlyneighborhoodirondad
Summary: Peter gets his wisdom teeth out... just not where he expected.





	Wisdom Teeth

Happy rolls his eyes as the car rocks from side to side sitting at a stop light. He doesn't need to look behind him to know the cause. "Peter," is all he needs to say for it to stop abruptly.

"Sorry," comes a small voice from the back. Peter tries to always be aware of his super strength, but it tends to slip his mind when he gets lost in thought. And he can't really help but feel nervous, and when he gets nervous, his leg jitters. Once, his class thought there was some kind of earthquake happening during a math test. Peter was so focused on the test, he hadn't even noticed people were freaking out until Ned had thrown a pencil at him.

Happy sighs up front, and Peter winces slightly. "Kid, what's up? You've been unusually quiet. Not that I'm complaining or anything..." he adds at the last second.

"I, uh... I'm just tired."

"Yeah-huh, that's what you said that time when you tore a hole in the suit and were worried about what Tony was gonna say. And that time when that kid posted that thing online about you lying about the Stark Internship and Tony responded. And that time when you were sick and you threw up in-"

"Okay, okay, I get," Peter blushes.

"Alrightly then, genius, spill it." Peter takes a breath to respond, but Happy adds, "And don't say 'it's really nothing Happy', because I know it isn't, and the last time I had to report to Tony that you said, quote, 'I'm just tired, it's really nothing Happy' and it really was something, I almost lost my job."

Peter groans and drops his head back. "Fine. I have to get my wisdom teeth out and May's nervous that I'll wake up during the surgery because my super-healing will go through the drugs like it's nothing. She wants me to ask Mr. Stark to get someone at the facility to do it, because, quote, 'I'm sure they have something for when Captain America needs to get a tooth pulled'. Like he doesn't already have perfect teeth..."

Happy smirks and shoots a look up into the review mirror. "You don't even have your wisdom teeth out yet?"

"I'm 15!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Boss keeps asking, well ordering, me to get you to tell me what you want for your sweet 16."

Peter blushes again. "I already told him he doesn't have to get me anything. And anyway, you changed the subject. This was about me embarrassing myself asking Mr. Stark about my stupid wisdom teeth."

"Kid, it's not embarrassing. Just ask him. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know..."

"Exactly. You'll never know until you try."

Peter gulped as they pulled up to the facility. Why was he nervous? Seriously, Happy's right. There's nothing to worry about. Mr. Stark likes him, right? He won't bite, as his mentor likes to say. The worst he could do is say no, right? Right?!

"Welcome back, Master Parker," Friday says as he enters the building. "Boss is in the workshop," she answers without Peter even having to ask.

"Thanks, Friday," he says rather glumly, much different from his usual demeanor.

"Is there a problem, Master Parker?" she asks, following Teenage Hormone Protocol.

"Nothing you can help with, unfortunately," he sighs. "I've gotta talk to Mr. Stark about something kinda awkward."

"I am unaware of a 'Mr. Stark'."

Peter rolls his eyes with a huff. "I meant 'Tony'."

"I know, Peter. According to the I Told You To Call Me Tony Protocol, I must respond in kind."

"Of course you do," laughs Peter, arriving at the workshop door. He knocks three times, and the door slides open.

"Hey, kid. I was just finishing up the schematics for your suit upgrades. I've been a little behind this week with Pepper breathing down my neck," Mr. Stark, er 'Tony' spouts off at the sight of the ever tousled head of hair.

"Well, I would too if my fiancee got into a very public argument with the CEO of OsCorp at a social event. You were all over the news," Peter reports, dropping his bag by the door, trying not to make eye contact.

"Yeah, yeah, he was asking for it. Wanna tell me what's up with you before we get started? Ya know, just to clear the air before we get too deep into our work." He raises an expectant eyebrow.

Peter blinks at his mentor for a moment before deflating. "Did Happy tell you?"

"No, but both he and Friday told me to ask. Besides, you're doing that shifty eye thing again. It gives you away. What did I tell you about your poker face?"

"That it sucks?"

"Well, yes, but- You know what? We can talk about that later. What's up, kid?"

"I'm, uh, getting my wisdom teeth pulled soon. Or, I'm supposed to, I guess. There's been some cause for delay."

"Please don't say braces."

"It's not braces, it's Spider-Man. May's afraid I'll wake up during the surgery because of my super-strength. She wanted me to ask you if I could get it done here. She figured you would have some kind of super-human grade laughing gas or something.

"I know it's probably too much to ask," Peter rambles on as Mr., darn it, Tony stares at him, "but she asked me to ask, and I can't disobey her, not after the whole keeping Spider-Man thing secret for so long, so I had to ask, so I sincerely apologize if it's a super weird question-"

"Alright, alright, jeeze, no more words, please." The millionaire swivels around on his stool and pulls up a blank hologram screen thingy (so cool!) to pull files onto. "Okay, we're going to need some extra strong anesthesia, your dental records, and... a dentist, I guess. I would do it myself, but I've somehow never managed to pick up a dentistry degree. Maybe I'll add it to my bucket list. Ooh, I could call up Strange. He could probably-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Peter interrupts. "What's going on?"

"Uh, I've actually just decided to not call Strange. Just remembered how destructive his cape can be. Dum-E still hasn't gotten over it."

"No, I meant... with my teeth..."

"What about them?"

"Uh, the whole yanking them out of my head part? You're really gonna do it?"

"Of course."

"But... why?"

"Why do I do anything, kid? 'Cause I want to."

"But... why?"

"Because... you're my responsibility. What kind of monster would I be to make a kid go through surgery essentially awake? And you think a fight is bad publicity..."

"But-"

"No more buts. It's done. In an hour, you'll be good as new," Mr. Stark says, standing from his chair.

"An hour?!" Peter exclaims.

"Well, your cheeks will be all swollen and you'll probably be all loopy like in those videos on YouTube, but you'll be down two teeth."

"But-"

"-What did I say about buts?"

"An hour?!"

"You just said that."

"I know, but-"

"You are just terrible at following directions, aren't you?"

"Mr. Stark, I didn't mean I needed them out right this second. I meant sometime in the near future, and... do I want to know how you got my dental records so fast?"

"Well, an hour's about as near of a future as you're going to get, and no, you don't want to know."

Mr. Stark begins to lead him towards the door with a hand on his shoulder, but Peter plants his feet. "Wait, wait, stop."

The older man sighs, but releases Peter's shoulder. "It's okay if you're scared of the dentist, Itsy Bitsy. I won't let 'em hurt you."

"Mr. Stark, no offense, but this is all happening too fast. Can I at least call Aunt May and ask if her insurance will cover... superhero resistant drugs?"

"You're worried about money? Kid... Peter, I'm not going to make you pay for any of this. Total health insurance, including dental, is covered through the internship, remember?"

"Um, no?"

"Okay, well, it's in the fine print." He pauses a moment to study the teen. "If... If you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to do it. I just thought it might be nice to get it out of the way. If you're anything like me, you'll brood over it until it happens like some kind of teenager. Oh wait..."

"Hardy-har. I'll do it, but I'm still calling May. She'll want to be here. She says it's because she worries, but I know it's really because she wants to record me when I wake up."

"You know, your aunt and I are actually on the same page for once. Maybe one day that'll translate to her actually liking me."

"As long as I'm Spider-Man, it's never gonna happen," Peter scoffs.

"Eh, we'll see." Tony pats Peter on the back fondly. "Go call May. I'll go get everything prepped. Tell her we won't start without her."

"Okay, but I wanna hear about that strange cape when I get back."

"I'll wait until after the procedure when you're properly medicated. You wouldn't believe me otherwise."

"Fine, I'll just ask Dum-E."

"Well, unless you speak R2-D2, you're not gonna get much out of him."

Peter gasps in mock outrage. "It's like you don't even know me!"

Tony laughs and makes his way out of the lab to give Peter some privacy. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through the numerous notifications he's received since he had locked himself in his lab. One in particular has him frowning. "Friday, who owns the New York Times?"

"Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr. Would you like me to send him a strongly worded letter?"

He smirked at his phone as he reread the article. "That's my girl. Send him my Threat Level Midnight draft but personalize it a little, if you know what I mean. That should keep 'em off Spidey's back for a while, wouldn't you say?"

"I would feel very threatened if I received this letter, Boss. I'll get right on it."

And she does. In fact, there's no trace of the defamatory article once Peter wakes up from his oral surgery with May and Tony's phone cameras shoved in his face. A couple people on social media swore they saw an article taking Norman Osborn's side in the shouting match with Tony Stark about Spider-Man that had occurred at a gala a couple of days ago, but no one can actually find the damn thing.


End file.
